Procrastination
by madgirlmuahaha
Summary: On an average day in the Wright Anything Agency, Phoenix is stuck in the office doing paperwork while Athena and Apollo are out investigating. Fortunately for Nick, a good friend decides on a whim to hang out at the office and distract him from making any actual progress on his paperwork. Minor language and some mildly suggestive dialogue, but nothing graphic. Feel free to R&R!
1. Chapter 1

It was 11 o'clock in the morning on a Thursday in the middle of January. Trucy and Pearl were at school, Apollo and Athena were investigating a new case, and I was stuck in the office doing all of the legal mumbo-jumbo that accompanied said case.

To be honest, I was bored. I wished that I could do more investigating, but as the attorney in our office with the most legal experience, I often got stuck with the boring piles of paperwork that preceded and followed the brief moments of excitement in the courtroom. Back in the day, I'd have Maya to keep me company and distract me while I toiled at the files between cases.

And speak of the devil, Maya came running into the office just then.

"Heya, Nick!" She was all smiles as she bounded through the doorway, not even bothering to knock.

"G'morning, Maya," I replied. I swiveled in my office chair to face her and smiled back at her. "I didn't know you were coming today."

She shrugged and wandered around the office. "Meh, the Elders let me have the rest of the week off, so I decided to come and hang out over here!" She flopped on the couch and grabbed the nearest Steel Samurai DVD from the floor. "You don't mind, do you?"

I turned back to my desk and picked up my pen. "Nah, I don't mind, but I've got a lot of paperwork waiting for me to fill it out."

"That's okay, I'll just wait for you to finish it!"

I sighed. "It's twice the size of a normal pile of paperwork, so I don't think I'm gonna be done anytime soon."

Her head popped up from its place on the sofa. "What? Nick, how'd you get stuck wi-"

"-I've gotta help Athena and Apollo sort out some stuff for their case, and I need to finish this pre-trial motion for a case I'm handling solo."

"Aw, Nick, when'd you become such an old stick-in-the-mud like Edgey who actually LIKES boring old paperwork?"

"I never said I enjoyed paperwork, I said it had to be done. And it does." I could practically hear her rolling her eyes at me. "And besides, I warned you when I got my badge back that there would be more paperwork than poker from now on, didn't I?"

She got up from the couch and shuffled over to my desk. "Ugh, I know... But do you have to do paperwork NOW?!"

"Maya, my trial's tomorrow, and Apollo and Athena are counting on me to get this done."

"Oh, come on! Apollo and Athena can fend for themselves, and you don't need to prepare any pre-trial crap to totally destroy the prosecution in court."

"Once again, my trial's _tomorrow-"_

_"_Yeah, and I'm here _today_. Nick, you need to get your priorities straight.

"My priorities _are_ straight. That's why I'm working on this now."

"Please, Nick? Just a break? We haven't done anything fun together since **Christmas. **And that was **a month ago.**"

"I shouldn't take a break now, because I've literally just started and-"

"-You can afford to procrastinate a bit! I do it all the time."

"There's no time _to_ procrastinate. It's tomorrow."

"All you have to do is briefly review the facts of the case and talk to your client tomorrow morning before the trial starts. You've gone into trials with less than even _that_ in the past, and you've won almost all of them."

"Yeah, by bluffing."

"Well, that's how you win trials anyway, even if you do prepare for them, right? So it won't matter if you procrastinate on this pre-trial whatchamacallit, right?"

"...You're not going to leave me alone unless you get your way, are you?"

"You know me too, too well."

I sighed in resignation and looked up at her. "Well, Ms. Fey, what do you want to do?"

She thought for a moment, before looking at me mischievously and answering, "Well, we could, y'know, 'mess around'-"

"Really, Maya?" Now it was my turn to roll my eyes at her.

She grinned widely. "Oh, I'm sure the Elders wouldn't mind if I spent the night in the city, and you could tell Polly and Athena that you have a very important meeting going on and to stay out of the office at all costs for the next few hours-"

"Can you at least pretend to be mature enough to make a less suggestive suggestion?"

She crossed her arms. "For your information, Nick, I _am_ being mature. That's what grown-ups do in their free time, isn't it?"

I glared at her. "I think you need more time to get used to being a 'grown up' before you can judge what they're supposed to do with any 'free time'."

She frowned indignantly at me. "Geez, Nick! Have a sense of humor, will you?! If you think I'm so immature, I guess I'll just take my not-grown-up-self out to gorge myself on burgers and see the latest Steel Samurai movie. _Without any stuck-up attorneys to accompany me._"

I turned back to my paperwork. "Have fun," I said nonchalantly. "I'm gonna finish my pre-trial stuff."

She gave me one last glare before storming out the door. "I WILL!"

I counted the seconds in my head.

_One, two, three, four, five, six-_

The door creaked open six seconds after it had been slammed shut.

I didn't even have to turn my chair to see who it was. "Yes, Maya?"

"Will you come with me?"

"Miss me, huh?"

She grabbed my chair and swung it around so that I faced her. "Shut up. I just hate walking around the dark and dangerous streets alone."

"It's 11 AM."

"It doesn't matter if it's in the middle of the day, creepers are still creepers and I'd rather have someone with me to fight for me if a creeper comes anywhere near me on the dark and dangerous city streets."

"I'm so flattered to have been promoted from doormat to bodyguard."

"Yeah, you better be. And not just _any _bodyguard, but the bodyguard of the Master of Kurain!" She paused expectantly. "So... Will you come with me?"

"Let me get my coat."


	2. Chapter 2

"Ohmigosh! When the Iron Samurai went back to the past to fight alongside the Steel Samurai to defeat the Evil Magistrate's army of mecha-monkeys, that was EPIC! And then when the explosion of the Magistrate's sky fortress landed both of them in the far future-talk about a cliffhanger! Nick, we've gotta see the sequel when it comes out!"

"They haven't even announced a sequel to this one yet."

"They're gonna. Trust me. My Samurai-Sense is tingling."

"Are you sure that's not from the three bags of Skittles, large Cherry Pepsi, and two servings of nachos you devoured in a 90-minute interval?"

"I'm a competitive eater. I can handle a few snacks."

This was true. Last time I had gone to do something fun like this with Maya, we went to the International House of Waffles "IHOW". They had this month long event during which people pay eight dollars for an all-you-can-eat waffle platter, and if you beat the record for most waffles inhaled in one sitting, then you got free waffles for the next 12 months. Maya took one look at the chalkboard with the high score and then started wolfing down one pocketed breakfast pastry after another.

Let me just say that I'm not going to have to pay for Maya's waffles until June.

"Even still, Maya, I'm very concerned. you know that cherry Pepsi has caffeine in it, right?"

She looked at me innocently. "Oh, really? Gee, I guess I'm gonna be up all night tonight."

"You seriously want to mess around at the office?"

"Come on, Nick! Just one more time!"

i muttered red under my breath. "It's always 'just one more time,' isn't it?"

"Please?"

"Fine."

An hour later, I was in the ridiculously elaborate Steel Samurai costume that Maya had purchased off of I-bay for a ridiculously large chunk of the Fey fortune. Again.

I hated wearing the thing, but Maya loved to dress up like her favorite characters and replay her favorite moments from her favorite Steel Samurai episodes and just make a total wreck of the office and mess around. I was careful to lock the doors of the office and tell Athena and Apollo that I had a very important meeting and they should not under any circumstances come into the office until it's over. I can't have any embarrassing photos of me get on the internet, after all.

"If you truly think of me as an equal, then you shall wield your staff and fight me as an equal," the pink masked being in front of me challenged as she pointed at me threateningly with a broomstick.

"Maya, how much longer am I going to have to stay in this thing?" I groaned, "I can't move in it."

She lowered her "staff" and snapped back, "STAY IN CHARACTER! Geez, Nick, have some imagination, will ya?! Now, again, 'Wield your staff and fight me as an equal,' you dummy!"

I sighed and picked up the mop. "I wish not to engage in battle, but rather to extend my hand in friendship to one whose strength, cunning, and bravery match my own, and to request aid in my eternal battle against the forces of evil. Now can I take this darned thing off of me?"

She still sounded unsatisfied. "Fine, but only if we can watch my super-collector's edition of the Steel Samurai/Pink Princess boxed DVD set."

"Aren't there over nine hours of footage?"

"Yes, and I already called the Elders to let them know I'm staying here overnight to watch the WHOLE THING with you!"

"You're the only 24-year-old person I know who would stay up all night watching the Steel Samurai and the Pink Princess."

"Yeah, and you're the only defense attorney I know who would watch nine hours of Steel Samurai with his bestest friend in the whole wide world."

And that's how I ended up not finishing any of my paperwork that day.

Author's note: I was struck with the inspiration to write a second chapter after reading pyrasaur X's review. Yes, Maya and Phoenix dress up like steel samurai characters and watch Steel Samurai all night long, just like any other normal adult would do in his or her free time. At least, it's what Edgey does, and he's the most grown-up person Maya knows. :D And Blackquill's really serious too, but I bet he watches it religiously as well.


End file.
